From Zoe Kessler's blog ADHD secrets

6 ) We find respite in each other’s company

When you’re not around, we talk differently, about different things, at a different pace, and with different sub-texts. We use shorthand and can even blank out, get up and walk out of the room, or interrupt and not take it personally because we understand the behavior. This, of course, goes especially for those of us who have been diagnosed and have learned about ADHD. It’s exhausting constantly corralling our ADHD tendencies. Every once in a while, we need to take a breather, recharge our batteries, and be amongst fellow tribe members who understand us without need for explanation. 

Seven Things Nonmedical Adderall Users Don’t Understand

It is probably going to run us, like, $40 for 90, or $50 for 120,” the girl said, casually flipping her hair and eating her lunch.“Whatever dude, worth it,” a friend of hers commented with a smirk on his face. “Call your cousin ASAP, I need to get this in before exams start.”“Ugh, god. I love adderall,” the girl replied, followed by a whole-hearted laugh from the group that looked like a college brochure come to life.

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The conversation above is no work of fiction. I overheard this in my school’s dining hall of sorts, and I’m sure there have been many more like it all across the country in dorm rooms, libraries, and wherever else college kids frequent.It’s nothing new — college kids have used and continue to down ADHD medication (Adderall) like M&Ms, especially in times of high stress (aka finals, aka right now). Before I came to college, I thought nonmedical use of Adderall wouldn’t actually be common — but boy, I was wrong.So, as someone who fights a daily battle with actual ADHD and is actually prescribed similar medication simply to alleviate the symptoms, I hope this post enlightens those who aren’t “lucky” enough to have a prescription on what they obviously must not understand about the drug, its effects, and why it’s actually around in the first place.

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The DEA lists Adderall as a Schedule II controlled substance. What does that mean? Acorrding to the DEA, that means Adderall has “high potential for abuse” and has the same classification as drugs such as opium, morphine, or oxycodone. Why? Because it is an amphetamine. You read that right — Adderall is said to be a psychostimulant with a high risk of dependancy abuse, according to the DEA. So why is someone who recreationally uses oxycodone seen as an “abuser”, while someone who recreationally uses Adderall is “just trying to get work done”? There’s a reason why the DEA lists the drug as such because of its potential for dependency and its effectiveness at what it’s supposed to do. Think about it.
Edit: Some people have brought up the argument that there’s no way Adderall is as “dangerous” as Oxy or even a Schedule I drug such as marijuana. In this case, I’m only pointing out that Adderall is seen, in the eyes of the law, to have the same classification as these drugs. Why? Probably science/research I haven’t read, but — I’m just going by the DEA website on what the federal law is. More informationhere.
Edit 2: Whether you agree or disagree with the classifications the DEA gives, it’s the law, and it’s what you’ll be prosecuted under until policy changes. If you feel strongly about this issue, feel free to contact your congressman and get involved other ways politically to advocate for change.
Because Adderall and other ADHD medications are controlled substances (see above), they’re really hard to get. Period. For anybody. I have to show my ID when I pick them up, I can only get a prescription filled so many days after I filled the last one, and I can’t automatically refill anything so pharmacies kind of hate me. Plus, there are a bunch of regulations on these substances that I didn’t know about at first, like the fact that I can’t fill my prescription in DC if it wasn’t written in the same month, so I have to travel to a bordering state simply to get my prescription filled.
But why are there these restrictions? To hinder nonmedical users from filling the drug. And the more they try to get it, the more hoops us prescription users have to go through simply to get the help we truly need on a daily basis. So honestly, not only are you doing something illegal when you’re using these pills without having a prescription, you’re actually being highly inconsiderate to those of us who do.
PSA: ADHD sucks. Not like, “oh man, this is inconvenient” sucks, but tears, hair-tearing, muscle-cramping, immoble-rendering, night-ruining sucks. And I’m sorry — it doesn’t matter how bad of a procrastinator you are or how bored you are in class, if you do not truly have ADHD, you do not understand what it’s like to be physically unable to concentrate.
But by using ADHD medication recreationally, you’re publicly flipping a huge middle finger to those of us who are affected by the disorder. I have friends and know many people who don’t consider ADHD to be “real” or not a serious issue because of the casualness of use of the medication, how many people are affected, and how the disorder is approached in society as a whole. Nonmedical use of the drug only furthers the stigma in society that it’s just an excuse kids use to get their hands on a prescription and pick up the slack they let go all semester.
“But it’s not fair,” some claim, “if Lauren gets to take something to make her focus better, won’t she perform better than me on the test? Doesn’t that give her an unfair advantage?” The answer is simply no — I use ADHD medication to hopefully bring my brain to the working level of a normal human, nothing more. I take ADHD medication to process things at the level that those who are not affected with the disorder live at every day; to maintain my balance and find some sort of normalcy amongst the scattered thoughts. If anyone has the unfair advantage in this case, it’s those who use it nonmedically. Not only do they already inherently focus better than I do, they’re now boosted into some sort of super-focus-work-accomplish mode I could only dream about. So what do I do? Take more medication just to keep up? It’s already a struggle to get to “normal”.
I’ll admit it. I like it when my ADHD medication kicks in. It does what it’s supposed to do, so kudos to the drug companies to making something that actually works. But, I can also tell when I’m coming off of it. And that part is not so fun.
Because it is a amphetamine, there’s a crash after the period of productivity. Some people find it even harder to focus than before. Some people feel physically ill. I get really, uncontrollably sleepy. If those things sound fine to you, I don’t know what kind of crazy you are, but you probably need to get checked out. The most common side effect? Your appetite will go bezerk. I’ll physically forget to eat, or simply not feel hungry, until I’m absolutely starving and the drugs have worn off.
I don’t care what it’s called, what it’s referred to, or what the side effects are — buying, selling, or possessing Adderall or any other controlled substance without a prescription is against the law. I don’t know what else I have to say to make my point any further — like I said, it’s classified in the same code as drugs such as oxycotin, percocet, and codine. So why can’t people understand that it’s just as dangerous and illegal to have Adderall as those drugs?
I don’t want this post to discourage anyone from seeking help if they seriously think they may exhibit the signs of ADHD and seriously need medication just to keep up. I was not diagnosed until I was almost 18, but I wish more than anything I would’ve considered ADHD treatment sooner in life. ADHD and ADD are real and have many faces, so do the research and consult a medical professional if you have concerns. Treatment and medication is out there to help you, and believe me, it truly works miracles. And as always, if you find you have a problem with dependency on this or any other controlled substance, there are treatments to help you too. So please, make the decision to get help before you let these things take over your life and drive you crazy, like it did me.

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Long story short, the cons to nonmedical Adderall use outweigh the pros.This article on ThoughtCatalog sums it up best:

Basically, we just want you to understand even though you maybe never will. Adderall isn’t fun. Dealing with all of the above almost daily isn’tideal. And dealing with a real ADD/ADHD diagnosis is FAR from lucky.Adderall isn’t a drug to joke about or buy in the library. It’s a medication that helps struggling individuals every day, and despite the negative side effects, we need that help. 1. You’re abusing a controlled substance.2. You’re making it harder for those of us who have a prescription to get help.3. You’re discounting the reality of ADHD and furthering the stigma of the disorder.4. Prescription users aren’t using it to do better than you. They’re using it to catch up to you.5. The side effects SUCK.6. It’s illegal. I-L-L-E-G-A-L.7. If you have a dependency, or you think you may actually have ADHD, help is available.

Totally ADD movie

http://vimeo.com/68294341

Life on Adderall: The Reality Behind Living on ADHD Stimulants

Life on Adderall: The Reality Behind 

Living on ADHD Stimulants

Darcy Andries, Yahoo Contributor Network

Not many people have the distinction of seeing Tom Cruise rant about their medication on the Todayshow. They have never picked up a paper and read that their medication has been banned in Canada because it is suspected of causing cardiac arrhythmias in children. Unlike me, I have been taking amphetamines on a daily for over ten years.

I am not a drug abuser. I am simply one of the many people who have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (also known as ADHD, Attention Deficit Disorder, and ADD) and being treated with the drug Adderall. Adderall is only one of several stimulant medications used to treat ADHD. Other drugs include the ever popular Ritalin, Concerta, Dexedrine, and Metadate. (Straterra is a drug used to treat ADHD, but is not a stimulant.)

Adderall is classified as a "schedule II controlled substance," which means that the FDA deems it at having a high potential for abuse. Considering that it is a known street drug, this classification seems to fit. Still, it doesn't make my life any easier.

What does it feel like being on Adderall?
This is a hard question to answer. Although I don't get high, I definitely can tell when it kicks in. It is pleasurable, in the fact that it calms my brain down. Allow me to illustrate life on and off Adderall. Before I take my medication, I have trouble focusing on one task. I might start doing the dishes when I notice that the cordless phone is off the hook. I go to put it on the hook, when I spot a book that should be in the bedroom. I set the phone down (not on the hook) and take the book towards the bedroom. On the way, I remember that I left the water running in the kitchen. I hurry back (setting the book down along the way) and continue doing the dishes until something else distracts me.

That's just a very brief example. When I take the medication, I still notice other things I need to do, but they don't become pressing "musts" like they do off the medication. The medication also tunes down the noises in my life. Life is noisy-especially when it seems like its quiet. In my quiet room right now I can hear the wind in the trees, my dog snoring, the wind chimes outside, a neighbor kid yelling, a plane go by overhead, my fingers typing, etc. The medication turns these noises down, or filters them out, and lets me choose what to focus on.

Am I addicted to Adderall?
I've been asked if I felt I was addicted to Adderall several times and my answer is yes and no. I once asked my doctor if I could be considered "addicted" to the drug-since I know that true addicts are often in denial-and he said no. According to him, I'm not addicted to them because I don't do any negative drug-seeking behaviors associated with drug addiction.

I also do not need to continue increasing the amount I am taking to get the same effects. In the ten years that I have been on the drug, I have requested that my dosage be reduced during the summertime when I didn't need to be as focused. I have never needed to increase my dosage passed 40mg a day.

Yet, a part of me knows that I am both physically and psychologically dependant on the medication. My body is used to an intake of stimulant every day. If I suddenly stopped taking that, I would feel it. I also like what it does for me. It does not get me "high." The only way I can describe it is that it gets me "clear." Imagine driving through a fog and then the sun comes out. Adderall provides the sun for my otherwise foggy brain. I could function without it, but not as well as I function with it.

Since I know the drug works for me, I know I would have a hard time not taking it. Even if the physical effects were minimized, my mind would be convinced that things were worse than they were. So, there is a slight psychological dependency there, too.

This would make it seem like I am addicted, so how can I be sure that I am not? Well, mediation is not the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. In fact, there have been times I have left the house and forgotten to take it, which indicates to me that I am obviously not addicted to it. I know several people who are addicted to caffeine and they can't function until the have a cup of coffee. I've heard similar stories about people who are addicted to cigarettes. If I don't take a dose, I will eventually notice. I would compare it to taking cold medicine, only the cold is in my brain.

The Monthly Headaches and Hassles of Obtaining Adderall Legally
Because Adderall is a controlled substance, I am required to get a new prescription each month from my doctor. I have to remember to call the doctor when I am almost out of pills and give out the litany of information that I have memorized. I tell the recording my name, spell it, my birth date, my phone number, my doctor's name, the drug I need, the dosage, explain why they can't call the pharmacy and that I need to pick it up. If I miss any one of these details, I will receive a call from the nurse. Because Adderall is controlled, they can't call my pharmacy with it. I have to pick it up from the doctor and take it to the pharmacy.

When I do pick it up, I always double-check it to ensure that everything is correct. Several times the nurse or doctor put an incorrect date on the prescription. If the date is over two weeks old, the prescription is no good and I have to go back and get a new one. Once, the dosage was wrong. Again, I had to go back and get a new prescription. It is not that my doctor is inept; I've had this occur with more than one doctor. They simply are not required to be so precise.

Once at the pharmacy, I am faced with a completely new set of problems. They always have to check to ensure that he medication is in stock-they don't keep too much of it around. When I pick it up, I have to make sure the pharmacist is there because it is kept locked up. I've learned to inform the clerk not to bother looking where all the other drugs are hanging, it's not there it's in the safe.

For this privilege, I pay almost $150 a month-my current health insurance does not cover the drug because it is a preexisting condition. Five dollars a pill is expensive, but it's worth it to me.
Considering the expense and hassle I have, it amazes me that people can afford and obtain it illegally. Part of me wonders if it isn't cheaper and easier to obtain on the streets. I don't know and I don't want to know because I'm afraid the answer might depress me too much.

Does Adderall Affect My Personality?
Many people wonder if Adderall changes my personality. My response is yes and no. The medication does change my behavior. Off medication, I am more prone to interrupting conversations, I switch topics at the drop of the hat, I rarely finish things I start, and can be very annoying to friends and family. And that's just the start of the list.

Still, few people are capable of telling when I'm on my medication. I still jump around when I'm excited, I am still enthusiastic, and it doesn't alter my moods. I've heard some people complain that the medication made them less creative, but I've never seen this to be true. In many ways, it has made me more creative since I've been able to finish more of the projects that I have created.

My medication doesn't change me; it allows me to be the person I want to be. I like myself better on medication. Since I was 25 when I was diagnosed, no one has ever made me take the medication. I came to these conclusions on my own. Medication didn't fix everything in my life or eliminate all the problems I have had with ADHD, but it has made many things much easier. The medication helps me function.

I look at it is a sort of artificial legs or a pair of glasses. Yes, the person could function without them. They might even be able to do most of the things that they do with them. However, the addition of the glasses helps them complete tasks easier-or rather brings them up to the same level as everybody else. That's what medication does for me.

I know that Adderall will always be a controversial drug. People will always be opposed to it. I accept this as a fact of my life with ADHD. I believe these people are necessary and very valuable. Although I advocate for the use of ADHD medicine, without some sort of resistance to it Adderall could become misused. Misdiagnosis is a problem with ADHD, and I fear what effects stimulant medication could have on children who are not ADHD. (For information on what Adderall and other stimulant medication does on brains with ADHD, check out Dr. Amen's book titled Change Your Brain, Change Your Life: The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Anger, and Impulsiveness. It explains it much better than I can here.)

Besides, I figure there are worse things in life to have to deal with. Overall, Adderall downplays the negative effects of my ADHD and allows me to enjoy the benefits of having it. I like being spontaneous, energetic, and able to multitask. I could go on, but that is a whole other subject.

So to Tom Cruise and anyone else asking, "Do you know what Adderall is? Do you know Ritalin? Do you know now that Ritalin is a street drug? Do you understand that?" Allow me to say, "Yes, I do. Do you? Do you really understand?"

I doubt anyone can truly understand until he or she has experienced it first hand. Like me.

Why is My ADHD Life so Damn Hard?

Why is my ADHD Life so Damn Hard?

Dr. Richard Ferman, Robert Wilford, Ph.D. and Sarah Ferman, Psy.D., L.M.F.T.

Having treated thousands of people with ADHD, I find one question that comes up over and over again. That question is “Doc, why is my ADHD life so damn hard?” Now there are variations of this question, such as “I thought the medication would take care of all of this ADHD stuff” or “Shouldn’t I have outgrown all this?” This is when I remind my patients that ADHD is a life long condition.  It requires a lifetime of learning and managing from many different angles in order to be successful.  Just because we get some relief from our medication, we still will always have to battle against those three primary traits of ADHD we have been dealing with all of our lives.

 The good news is you’re probably familiar with the “Big 3” ADHD traits.  You have just probably forgotten how they look when you are older.   Remember those of us with ADHD tend to be: 1) Impulsive, 2) Inattentive and/or 3) Hyperactive

If you think you are going to outgrow these traits, or they are going to disappear now that you are taking medication, that just is not the case for most of us with ADHD.  I usually find that most of what is making ADHD life hard falls into three categories:

Being too impulsive:

“The Inability to Hold back, or think before making a decision…”

-We tend to make quick decisions.  Later those quick decisions only come back to “haunt” us.

-We make quick decisions without giving ourselves adequate time to carefully consider the possible effects or results of our actions.

-We sometimes don’t think about the possible alternatives which could serve us better.

Inattentiveness or Zoning out of life:

“Difficulty staying present and focused on what is right in front of us…”

-Inattentiveness can cause us to act on a quick decision without taking adequate time to look at possible negative results of our quick decisions.

-To some people it looks like we “just don’t learn from our mistakes.”

-We tend to operate on the principle:  Ready – Fire – Aim!

If, all your life, you have been told that you underachieve, sometimes it just feels better to shoot the gun now and aim later. This is akin to “acting without thinking”.  So, we miss our designated target and set in motion, a series of results that we did not foresee and do not want. This is where our impulsivity, not paying attention to what is around us or thinking about other positive possibilities or options becomes really clear. Often those of us with ADHD prefer to just spring into action without thinking.  This causes us to miss out on other aspects of the situation. Not taking a minute to think about those other possibilities means we miss out on many less obvious options.  That is the rub about ADHD. We may have wished we could have taken the time to think things through, but without some sort of assistance, like that which medication and proper nutrition provide, that option is simply not a possibility.

Battling our own inner Hyperactivity

“That feeling that we just need to keep moving, or are driven by our own motor that just won’t turn off. “

-As kids, we ADHD hyperactive kids got into heaps of trouble for being so hyper and impulsive. We did not see ourselves as others saw us. We felt excessively criticized and put down for just being who we were. Inside we felt happy and “normal’, and in a rush. The constant criticism took its toll on our self-esteem. We saw others as “too slow”. We felt very unique, loving and happy, but often our teachers and parents did not appreciate us for who we felt we were.

-We tend to grow out of the gross, physical, hyperactivity.   This obvious hyperactivity changes into more fine motor hyperactivity: i.e., jiggling our legs, swinging one leg over the other, tapping or drumming etc.  Adult hyperactivity can evolve and make an appearance in a more subtle way such as blinking, raising eyebrows, shrugging our shoulders, etc.  It’s as if the childlike hyperactivity moves more into a feeling of inner restlessness.

This is what I remind myself and my patients to be reminded of anytime they ask the question “Doc, why is my life so hard?”  These core traits are part of the hardwiring of the ADHD brain.  They require monitoring and management even when you just want to give in and let everything in your already overwhelmed brain just fall apart.  Resist that urge, as it usually just makes things worse. Instead, there are things that we can do to offset these “Big 3” ADHD traits.  Here are just a few suggestions to help get your ADHD life back in control:

1. Give yourself a break and expect to feel overwhelmed and plan for it. The question is not if you get overwhelmed, but when you get overwhelmed. If you know that it is just a natural part of a brain that is built like a Ferrari, then you can go easy on yourself.  Setbacks and misfires are just a part of what makes us human. Even people without ADHD feel overwhelmed sometimes. Give yourself a “get out of jail free card” every own and again. You might find it is just what the doctor ordered to help you stay on track.
2. Get enough rest. Sounds simple, but those of us with ADHD know just how difficult this can be.  Your ADHD brain just needs all the energy it can get. A sleepy ADHD brain is a useless ADHD brain.  Try to limit the amount of stimulation you have the 2 hours before you go to bed. This means no heavy talks, no super activating television shows, or thought provoking discussions two (2) hours before bedtime.
3. Eat enough protein!!  The same chemicals that your ADHD brain craves and gets in medication are made from the building blocks found in the protein you eat.  Without enough protein in your diet, all the medication in the world won’t help.
4. Drink enough water. Did you know that people who are dehydrated actually look a lot like those of us with ADHD? Dehydration can really cause you to not be able to think clearly.  If you find yourself heating up during the day, or have a dry mouth, reach for the H2O. As much as soda and coffee may taste good, soda leaches precious calcium from your body and coffee actually dehydrates you. So remember to drink two waters for every soda or coffee you drink.
5. Take your medication and your supplements. Many of us with ADHD think we are better or more free when we are off our medication. That may be how we “feel”, but that’s not usually the time when we make our best decisions and are in fact least effective.  If you are supposed to take medication or you are able to take supplements like Omega-3 fatty acids, do it! Omega -3 fatty acids really do impact the way in which our brains work. Anything that we can do to improve our ADHD brains is usually a good thing.

Next time you find yourself chasing after a life of what feels like out of control ADHD, remember that you can get control of your mind, and you can get control of your ADHD.  Take a minute and remember to keep an open mind. If something feels too extreme and out of balance—move on and look elsewhere. Find that place where your mind and your heart guide you to your best choices.

Take a moment to post a comment and tell me about how hard your ADHD life is and share any tips or strategies you found that have worked for you.

Till then—God bless.

Why ADHDers act the way they do- Additude

By William Dodson, M.D.

November 6, 2013

Keys to understanding our thinking and behaviors -- from preferring the company of fellow ADDers to hyperfocusing all night, to doubting our ability to perform when others want us to. 

Why We're Overwhelmed

ADHDers experience life more intensely than neurotypicals. The ADHD nervous system wants to be engaged in something interesting and challenging. Attention is never "deficit." It's always excessive, constantly occupied with internal engagements. When ADDers aren't in The Zone, in hyperfocus, they have many things rattling around in their minds, all at once and for no obvious reason, like five people talking to them simultaneously. Nothing gets sustained, undivided attention. Nothing gets done well.

Why We Let the Whole World In

Many ADDers can't screen out sensory input. Sometimes this is related to only one sensory realm, such as hearing. In fact, the phenomenon is called hyperacusis (amplified hearing), even when the disruption comes from another of the five senses. For example, the slightest sound in the house prevents falling asleep. ADDers have their worlds constantly disrupted by experiences of which the neurotypical is unaware.

Why We Love a Crisis

Sometimes, an ADHDer can hit the do-or-die deadline and produce lots of work in a short time. The "masters of disasters" handle crises with ease, only to fall apart when things become routine again. Lurching from crisis to crisis, however, is a tough way to live life. Some ADDers use anger to get the adrenaline rush they need to get to be productive. The price they pay for their productivity is so high that they may be seen as having personality disorders.

Why We Don't Always Get Things Done

 ADHDers are both mystified and frustrated by the intermittent ability to be super-human when interested, and challenged and unable to start and sustain projects that are boring to them. They are never certain that they can engage when needed, when they are expected to, when others depend on them to. When ADDers see themselves as undependable, they begin to doubt their talents and feel the shame of being unreliable.

Why Our Motors Are Always Running

By the time most ADHDers are adolescents, their physical hyperactivity is hidden. But it's there and it still impairs the ability to engage in the moment, listen to other people, and relax enough to fall asleep. Even when an ADDer takes meds, he may not be able to make use of his becalmed state. He's still driven forward. By adolescence, most ADDers have acquired the social skills necessary to cover up that they're not present.

Why Organization Eludes Us

The ADHD mind is a vast and unorganized library. It contains masses of info. in snippets, but not whole books. The info. exists in many forms — as articles, videos, audio clips, Internet pages. But there's no card catalog. Each ADDer has his or her own way of storing that huge amount of material. Important items (God help us, important to someone else) have no fixed place, and might as well be invisible or missing entirely.
Why We Don't See Ourselves Clearly


ADDers have little self-awareness. While they can often read other people well, it's hard for the average ADDer to know, from moment to moment, how they themselves are doing. Neurotypicals misinterpret this as being callous, narcissistic, uncaring, or socially inept. The ADDer's vulnerability to the negative feedback of others, and the lack of ability to observe oneself in the moment, make a witch's brew.

Why We May Forget


For the ADDer, information and memories that are out of sight are out of mind. Her mind is a computer in RAM, with no reliable access to info. on the hard drive. The ADDer's mind is full of the minutiae of life ("Where are my keys?"), so there's little room left for new thoughts and memories. Something has to be discarded or forgotten to make room for new information. Often the information ADDers need is in their memory, but it's not available on demand.

Why We're Time Challenged


Because ADDers don't have a reliable sense of time, everything happens right now or not at all. Along with the concept of ordination (what must be done first; what must come second) there must also be the concept of time. 85% of my ADHD patients don't wear or own a watch. For ADDers, time is a meaningless abstraction. It seems important to other people, but ADDers have never gotten the hang of it.

Hallowell

What is it like to have ADHD? What is the feel of the syndrome? Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. First of all, I resent the term. As far as I'm concerned, most people have Attention Surplus Disorder. I mean, life being what it is, who can pay attention to anything for very long? Is it really a sign of mental health to be able to balance your checkbook, sit still in your chair, and never speak out of turn? But anyway, be that as it may, there is this syndrome called ADD or ADHD, depending on what book you read. So what's it like to have it?

Some people say the so-called syndrome doesn't even exist, but believe me, it does. Many metaphors come to mind to describe it. It's like driving in the rain with bad windshield wipers. Everything is smudged and blurred and you're speeding along, and it's really frustrating not being able to see very well. Or it's like listening to a radio station with a lot of static and you have to strain to hear what's going on. Or, it's like trying to build a house of cards in a dust storm. You have to build a structure to protect yourself from the wind before you can even start on the cards.

In other ways it's like being supercharged all the time. You get one idea and you have to act on it, and then, what do you know, but you've got another idea before you've finished up with the first one, and so you go for that one, but of course a third idea intercepts the second, and you just have to follow that one, and pretty soon people are calling you disorganized and impulsive and all sorts of impolite words that miss the point completely. Because you're trying really hard. It's just that you have all these invisible vectors pulling you this way and that, which makes it really hard to stay on task. Plus, you're spilling over all the time. You're drumming your fingers, tapping your feet, humming a song, looking here, looking there, stretching, doodling, and people think you're not paying attention or that you're not interested, but all you're doing is spilling over so that you can pay attention. I can pay a lot better attention when I'm taking a walk or listening to music or even when I'm in a crowded, noisy room than when I'm still and surrounded by silence.

What is it like to have ADHD? Buzzing. Being here and there and everywhere. Someone once said, "Time is the thing that keeps everything from happening all at once." Time parcels moments out into separate bits so that we can do one thing at a time. In ADHD, this does not happen. In ADHD, time collapses. Time becomes a black hole. To the person with ADHD it feels as if everything is happening all at once. This creates a sense of inner turmoil or even panic. The individual loses perspective and the ability to prioritize. He or she is always on the go, trying to keep the world from caving in on top.

Lines. I'm almost incapable of waiting in lines. I just can't wait, you see. That's the agony of it. Impulse leads to action. I'm very short on what you might call the intermediate reflective step between impulse and action. That's why I, like so many people with ADHD, lack tact. Tact is entirely dependent on the ability to consider one's words before uttering them. We ADHD types don't do this so well.

Many of us with ADHD crave high-stimulus situations. In my case, I love casinos, the high-intensity crucible of doing psychotherapy and having lots of people around. High stim situations can get you into trouble, which is why ADHD is high among criminals and self-destructive risk-takers. It is also high among so-called Type A personalities, as well as among manic-depressives, sociopaths and drug users. But it is also high among creative and intuitive people in all fields, and among highly-energetic, highly-productive people. Which is to say there is a positive side to all this. Usually the positive doesn't get mentioned when people speak about ADHD because there is a natural tendency to focus on what goes wrong, or at least on what has to be somehow controlled. But often once the ADHD has been diagnosed, and the individual, with the help of teachers, parents and colleagues, has learned how to cope with it, an untapped realm of the brain swims into view. Suddenly the radio station is tuned in, the windshield is clear, the sand storm has died down. And the child or adult, who had been such a problem, such a nudge, such a general pain in the neck, starts doing things he'd never been able to do before. He surprises everyone around him, and he surprises himself. I use the male pronoun, but it could just as easily be she, as we are seeing more and more ADHD among females as we are looking for it.

Often these people are highly imaginative and intuitive. They have a "feel" for things, a way of seeing right into the heart of matters while others have to reason their way along methodically. This is the person who can't explain how he thought of the solution, or where the idea for the story came from, or why suddenly he produced such a painting, or how he knew the short cut to the answer, but all he can say is he just knew it, he could feel it. This is the man or woman who makes million-dollar deals in a catnap and pulls them off the next day. This is the child who, having been reprimanded for blurting something out, is then praised for having blurted out something brilliant. These are the people who learn and know and do and go by touch and feel.

These people can feel a lot. In places where most of us are blind they can, if not see the light, at least feel the light, and they can produce answers apparently out of the dark. It is important for others to be sensitive to this "sixth sense" many ADHD people have, and to nurture it. If the environment insists on rational, linear thinking and "good" behavior from these people all the time, then they may never develop their intuitive style to the point where they can use it profitably. It can be exasperating to listen to people talk. They can sound so vague or rambling. But if you take them seriously and grope along with them, often you will find they are on the brink of startling conclusions or surprising solutions.

What I am saying is that their cognitive style is qualitatively different from most people's, and what may seem impaired, with patience and encouragement may become gifted. The thing to remember is that if the diagnosis can be made, then most of the bad stuff associated with ADHD can be avoided or contained. The diagnosis can be liberating, particularly for people who have been stuck with labels like "lazy," "stubborn," "willful," "disruptive," "impossible," "tyrannical," "a space shot," "brain damaged," "stupid," or just plain "bad." Making the diagnosis of ADHD can take the case from the court of moral judgment to the clinic of neuropsychiatric treatment.

What is the treatment all about? Anything that turns down the noise. Just making the diagnosis helps turn down the noise of guilt and self-recrimination. Building certain kinds of structure into one's life can help a lot. Working in small spurts rather than long hauls. Breaking tasks down into smaller tasks. Making lists. Getting help where you need it. Maybe applying external limits on your impulses. Or getting enough exercise to work off some of the noise inside. Finding support. Getting someone in your corner to coach you, to keep you on track. Medication can help a great deal too, but it is far from the whole solution. The good news is that treatment can really help.

We who have ADHD need your help and understanding. We may make mess-piles wherever we go, but with your help, those mess-piles can be turned into realms of reason and art. So, if you know someone like me who's acting up and daydreaming and forgetting this or that and just not getting with the program, consider ADHD before he starts believing all the bad things people are saying about him and it's too late.