Life on Adderall: The Reality Behind Living on ADHD Stimulants

Life on Adderall: The Reality Behind 

Living on ADHD Stimulants

Darcy Andries, Yahoo Contributor Network

Not many people have the distinction of seeing Tom Cruise rant about their medication on the Todayshow. They have never picked up a paper and read that their medication has been banned in Canada because it is suspected of causing cardiac arrhythmias in children. Unlike me, I have been taking amphetamines on a daily for over ten years.

I am not a drug abuser. I am simply one of the many people who have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (also known as ADHD, Attention Deficit Disorder, and ADD) and being treated with the drug Adderall. Adderall is only one of several stimulant medications used to treat ADHD. Other drugs include the ever popular Ritalin, Concerta, Dexedrine, and Metadate. (Straterra is a drug used to treat ADHD, but is not a stimulant.)

Adderall is classified as a "schedule II controlled substance," which means that the FDA deems it at having a high potential for abuse. Considering that it is a known street drug, this classification seems to fit. Still, it doesn't make my life any easier.

What does it feel like being on Adderall?
This is a hard question to answer. Although I don't get high, I definitely can tell when it kicks in. It is pleasurable, in the fact that it calms my brain down. Allow me to illustrate life on and off Adderall. Before I take my medication, I have trouble focusing on one task. I might start doing the dishes when I notice that the cordless phone is off the hook. I go to put it on the hook, when I spot a book that should be in the bedroom. I set the phone down (not on the hook) and take the book towards the bedroom. On the way, I remember that I left the water running in the kitchen. I hurry back (setting the book down along the way) and continue doing the dishes until something else distracts me.

That's just a very brief example. When I take the medication, I still notice other things I need to do, but they don't become pressing "musts" like they do off the medication. The medication also tunes down the noises in my life. Life is noisy-especially when it seems like its quiet. In my quiet room right now I can hear the wind in the trees, my dog snoring, the wind chimes outside, a neighbor kid yelling, a plane go by overhead, my fingers typing, etc. The medication turns these noises down, or filters them out, and lets me choose what to focus on.

Am I addicted to Adderall?
I've been asked if I felt I was addicted to Adderall several times and my answer is yes and no. I once asked my doctor if I could be considered "addicted" to the drug-since I know that true addicts are often in denial-and he said no. According to him, I'm not addicted to them because I don't do any negative drug-seeking behaviors associated with drug addiction.

I also do not need to continue increasing the amount I am taking to get the same effects. In the ten years that I have been on the drug, I have requested that my dosage be reduced during the summertime when I didn't need to be as focused. I have never needed to increase my dosage passed 40mg a day.

Yet, a part of me knows that I am both physically and psychologically dependant on the medication. My body is used to an intake of stimulant every day. If I suddenly stopped taking that, I would feel it. I also like what it does for me. It does not get me "high." The only way I can describe it is that it gets me "clear." Imagine driving through a fog and then the sun comes out. Adderall provides the sun for my otherwise foggy brain. I could function without it, but not as well as I function with it.

Since I know the drug works for me, I know I would have a hard time not taking it. Even if the physical effects were minimized, my mind would be convinced that things were worse than they were. So, there is a slight psychological dependency there, too.

This would make it seem like I am addicted, so how can I be sure that I am not? Well, mediation is not the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. In fact, there have been times I have left the house and forgotten to take it, which indicates to me that I am obviously not addicted to it. I know several people who are addicted to caffeine and they can't function until the have a cup of coffee. I've heard similar stories about people who are addicted to cigarettes. If I don't take a dose, I will eventually notice. I would compare it to taking cold medicine, only the cold is in my brain.

The Monthly Headaches and Hassles of Obtaining Adderall Legally
Because Adderall is a controlled substance, I am required to get a new prescription each month from my doctor. I have to remember to call the doctor when I am almost out of pills and give out the litany of information that I have memorized. I tell the recording my name, spell it, my birth date, my phone number, my doctor's name, the drug I need, the dosage, explain why they can't call the pharmacy and that I need to pick it up. If I miss any one of these details, I will receive a call from the nurse. Because Adderall is controlled, they can't call my pharmacy with it. I have to pick it up from the doctor and take it to the pharmacy.

When I do pick it up, I always double-check it to ensure that everything is correct. Several times the nurse or doctor put an incorrect date on the prescription. If the date is over two weeks old, the prescription is no good and I have to go back and get a new one. Once, the dosage was wrong. Again, I had to go back and get a new prescription. It is not that my doctor is inept; I've had this occur with more than one doctor. They simply are not required to be so precise.

Once at the pharmacy, I am faced with a completely new set of problems. They always have to check to ensure that he medication is in stock-they don't keep too much of it around. When I pick it up, I have to make sure the pharmacist is there because it is kept locked up. I've learned to inform the clerk not to bother looking where all the other drugs are hanging, it's not there it's in the safe.

For this privilege, I pay almost $150 a month-my current health insurance does not cover the drug because it is a preexisting condition. Five dollars a pill is expensive, but it's worth it to me.
Considering the expense and hassle I have, it amazes me that people can afford and obtain it illegally. Part of me wonders if it isn't cheaper and easier to obtain on the streets. I don't know and I don't want to know because I'm afraid the answer might depress me too much.

Does Adderall Affect My Personality?
Many people wonder if Adderall changes my personality. My response is yes and no. The medication does change my behavior. Off medication, I am more prone to interrupting conversations, I switch topics at the drop of the hat, I rarely finish things I start, and can be very annoying to friends and family. And that's just the start of the list.

Still, few people are capable of telling when I'm on my medication. I still jump around when I'm excited, I am still enthusiastic, and it doesn't alter my moods. I've heard some people complain that the medication made them less creative, but I've never seen this to be true. In many ways, it has made me more creative since I've been able to finish more of the projects that I have created.

My medication doesn't change me; it allows me to be the person I want to be. I like myself better on medication. Since I was 25 when I was diagnosed, no one has ever made me take the medication. I came to these conclusions on my own. Medication didn't fix everything in my life or eliminate all the problems I have had with ADHD, but it has made many things much easier. The medication helps me function.

I look at it is a sort of artificial legs or a pair of glasses. Yes, the person could function without them. They might even be able to do most of the things that they do with them. However, the addition of the glasses helps them complete tasks easier-or rather brings them up to the same level as everybody else. That's what medication does for me.

I know that Adderall will always be a controversial drug. People will always be opposed to it. I accept this as a fact of my life with ADHD. I believe these people are necessary and very valuable. Although I advocate for the use of ADHD medicine, without some sort of resistance to it Adderall could become misused. Misdiagnosis is a problem with ADHD, and I fear what effects stimulant medication could have on children who are not ADHD. (For information on what Adderall and other stimulant medication does on brains with ADHD, check out Dr. Amen's book titled Change Your Brain, Change Your Life: The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Anger, and Impulsiveness. It explains it much better than I can here.)

Besides, I figure there are worse things in life to have to deal with. Overall, Adderall downplays the negative effects of my ADHD and allows me to enjoy the benefits of having it. I like being spontaneous, energetic, and able to multitask. I could go on, but that is a whole other subject.

So to Tom Cruise and anyone else asking, "Do you know what Adderall is? Do you know Ritalin? Do you know now that Ritalin is a street drug? Do you understand that?" Allow me to say, "Yes, I do. Do you? Do you really understand?"

I doubt anyone can truly understand until he or she has experienced it first hand. Like me.